As some of you know, last spring after I mocked the Sarah McLachlan commercial pleading viewers to give money and or adopt abused or neglected animals, a cat showed up at my door. According to my landlord, it used to be a house cat, then lived off the fat of the land for a decade or so before being led to my door by Sarah McLachlan’s animal omnipotence. I never let it inside, but I do feed it the cheapest, “hairball control” food Target sells. This leads me to my point.
Target was out of the normal $3.99, 3-pound bag of Meow Mix, so I read labels and price tags.
$7.99? For cat food?
“Healthy Naturals”? It’s cat food on a shelf, no way it’s “natural”. Natural was the cat eating mice. Natural was the time a bird hit my window and the cat ate it, skull and all. At no point as I watched the cat go Animal Planet on the dove, did I see the cat turn its head and ask for salt.
“Tuna flavored?” How could that taste good?
“Digestive Health”? Uh…
“Indoor Delight” – Heck no.
This was a pointless waste of my time. I gave up, grabbed the “tender centers” and headed for the shortest line.
The cat ate it.
I asked War Cat (named after seeing War Horse) what she thought.
“Hey. Did you like that more than the hairball stuff?”
“You ate it all, was it good?”
For the record, the cat is taking a post-meal nap. It’s not dead.